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Mal's Random Thoughts and Inventions

There're 12 decimal places between a microphone and a megaphone.

When the left moves right, what rights do we have left?

Breakfast Brunch Lunch Linner Dinner Dupper Supper Sekfast
And a very late breakfast would be Brinner, which, at Christmas time, would be boiled eggs, as it would be Yule Brinner.

"The other implements for making alcohol were moving around, so the mouse had hidden under one that wasn't. But why hadn't he run away? 
What it was was that that that that still still still still had had had had an intoxifying effect on the mouse".
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=434805726600131&id=190844574329582

Here's a little grammar lesson I came up with:
"And it quickly ran over the grassy hill." "Because I really am in a foul mood." "But he always worked through any tricky problem."
These sentences each contain 8 different kinds of word, in this order:
1. Conjunction: Links between actions or ideas.
2. Pronoun: Represents a noun in a general way.
3. Adverb: Describes a verb, an adjective or another adverb (sheesh!)
4. Verb: A doing or being word.
5. Preposition: Describes where the subject is in relation to the object.
6. Determiner (or Article): Defines the noun.
7. Adjective: Describes a noun.
8. Noun: Represents a thing or concept.
Can you make one?

Well, Nick (nicknamed "knickers") has this nickel knick-knack that's in good nick, apart from a few nicks, so nick down and nick it in the nick of time, so you don't get nicked.

"She smiled livelily and lovelily, but lonelily". When using an "ly" adjective as an adverb, one is meant to use an adverbial phrase (i.e. "in a lovely manner") or find a non "ly" alternative (like "sweetly"), but I love these "lily" words (as I call them). I sometimes even write them like "lyly", as in "wobblyly". "Scholarlily" is my favourite.

I'dn't've is 6 letters and 3 apostrophes. It's something that people often say but never write, along with simpler multi-apostrophe words like mustn't've, I'd've and the lovely looking I'll've.

The phrase "he's tall, isn't he?" can be said two very different ways with one being an actually question. So, to distinguish the rhetorical question, I write it as "he's tall, isn't he!" And then all is clear. I've seen others do this and I do hope it catches on.

A while ago, my stepfather Alan referred to something as a bit of a faux pas and almost without thinking, I said, "You're a Faux Pa!" Hardy ha! But then my cousin Alison Reid pointed out that "pas" means "step" which makes it doubly apt! Well, except that he's my real step, not a false one. Hmmm. It's caught on a bit now amongst my friends. Faux bro also has a nice ring about it, but Faux Sis sounds like a disease. And Faux Mo Fo... nah.

The words Well, Fine, Fast, Right, Wrong, Left, Long, Okay, Light, Still and Shit can each be a noun, a verb, an adjective and an adverb.

I just noticed that "undoable" can mean both "can be undone" and "can't be done". Any others like that?

I just found out that isn't just a pregnant S, it's called a Section Sign. Gosh. It's option 6 on a mac. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_sign

Invention!!! The Bubble Kick: Standing in waist deep water, raise one of your feet (just one) out of the water behind you, then thrust it down into the water and kick it forward to produce a shot of bubbles! Use it provide a spontaneous jacuzzi effect or to simulate flatulence... or both!

Here're some homophonic words and phrases I use in general conversation to keep myself amused:
I'll leave you twit (to it). Torture you later (talk to you later). Nice dementure (nice to meet you). Dugong (do go on), Abysinnia or I'll be senior (I'll be seeing you), Excrement (excellent), Obsoletely (absolutely)

Words that mean nice things but sound yucky: crepuscular, puse, pulchritude, glabrous, osculate, phlegmatic, fuscus, vindicate, bucolic