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Knot (for Cath and Jamie)

As you two view to tie the knot, let's cast our minds to hitches
With binding lines in swinging reels, you may wind up in stitches

Now any able seaman, leading scout and social climber
Could tell you what's the knot that's got the lot, but here's a primer

A Sheet Bend's good in bed, despite discrepancy of rope
Tonight you might unite and quite dyslexicly, I'd hope

A Reef Knot leaves you on the rocks and in a bind you'll be
You'll take a dive, you'll get the bends, washed up and all at sea

A Sheepshank only shortens things, but dinner might be roast
A Clove hitch adds some spice, but only ties onto a post

Please be afraid not as your close knit family lines entwine
Some snarls and twists are normal when they wind up on the wine

A Truckie's Hitch pulls 2 to 1, could tie you down real tight
A Butterfly loop loop's the bight when there's no end in sight

Round Turn and 2 half hitches has a bigamous repute
A fly bi guy with double brides and Double Bows to boot

Now Figure 8s and Bowlines only tie rope to itself
You'll find one liners of this kind get left upon the shelf

A knot you can't undo won't do, so tangled webs beware
Reply your twines from time to time, repair the wear and tear

A nerdy knot nut might like Zeppelin or Ashley bends
Or delve the depths of string/knot theory maths to meet their ends

True Lover's knot sounds negative, a slipknot's bound to flop
A Noose and Jug Sling should hang out with friends who like a drop

A Whatknot is a Backward Granny, simple, sweet and strong
But comes to Grief and falls apart if tied just slightly wrong

So now it's up to you to choose the best and lose the worst
In love's three legged human race you're bound to tie for first

©Mal Webb 2004
 I wrote this for my sister Cath's wedding: A few people there struggled with all the knot jokes! It's since been used at a wedding in NZ (with the lyrics in the program and everything!) and I sang it at my friends Aurora and Amos' wedding in 2013.

Knot
Intro: l C∆  l Cm7 l G∆  l   l C∆  l Cm7 l G∆  lG∆ Ebo l
Verses: l Em  l   l B7  l   l C7  l B7  l  
l Am l   l Bm l   l C  l   l C/D l C#9#11 l*
ll: C∆  l Cm7 l G∆  l   :ll
l B7 C7 l B7 C7 l B7  l   l D7 Eb7 l D7 Eb7 l D7 l Ebo l
*on 4th time: l C∆  l Cm7 l G∆  l   l
l C∆  l Cm7 l G∆  l C#9#11 l C∆  l Cm7 l G∆  l   l
l C∆  l Cm7 l Bm Bbm Am D7/F# l G∆  l