As you two view to tie the knot, let's cast our minds to hitches
With binding lines in swinging reels, you may wind up in stitches
Now any able seaman, leading scout and social climber
Could tell you what's the knot that's got the lot, but here's a primer
A Sheet Bend's good in bed, despite discrepancy of rope
Tonight you might unite and quite dyslexicly, I'd hope
A Reef Knot leaves you on the rocks and in a bind you'll be
You'll take a dive, you'll get the bends, washed up and all at sea
A Sheepshank only shortens things, but dinner might be roast
A Clove hitch adds some spice, but only ties onto a post
Please be afraid not as your close knit family lines entwine
Some snarls and twists are normal when they wind up on the wine
A Truckie's Hitch pulls 2 to 1, could tie you down real tight
A Butterfly loop loop's the bight when there's no end in sight
Round Turn and 2 half hitches has a bigamous repute
A fly bi guy with double brides and Double Bows to boot
Now Figure 8s and Bowlines only tie rope to itself
You'll find one liners of this kind get left upon the shelf
A knot you can't undo won't do, so tangled webs beware
Reply your twines from time to time, repair the wear and tear
A nerdy knot nut might like Zeppelin or Ashley bends
Or delve the depths of string/knot theory maths to meet their ends
True Lover's knot sounds negative, a slipknot's bound to flop
A Noose and Jug Sling should hang out with friends who like a drop
A Whatknot is a Backward Granny, simple, sweet and strong
But comes to Grief and falls apart if tied just slightly wrong
So now it's up to you to choose the best and lose the worst
In love's three legged human race you're bound to tie for first
©Mal Webb 2004